Sassy Trash
by crumbledpaper
Summary: In which a crack fic turned into this thing. OC


_Disclaimer: We don't own Haikyuu!_

**YumeHoshi32 collabed with me on this chapter and half of the next one**_, but then lost her motivation(which was wine) and dropped out. _

_This originally started off as a crack fic, but then some things were…changed..._

_And now we've ended up with this._

* * *

The bright sunlight gently filters through the spring green leaves at an hour, 59 minutes, 48 seconds, 47 milliseconds, and 46 nanoseconds. IT _swagged _down the sidewalk, hands stuck in the pockets of IT's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious swagalicious hoodie as IT's worn leather boots gently tapped against the cool concrete. Faint music streamed from IT's fabulous Crayola razzmatazz colored headphones(because only hardcore organisms wear hot pink).

IT was currently on IT's way to Aobajousai High. Or rather, the gym containing a certain ultra-large-fabu-annoying-douchy-yet-smexy-why-lifes-not-fair King of Trash. (Aka Tooru Oikawa)

IT was almost halfway to the destination of fate when suddenly out of the blue―"Wait up Na-chan!"

Darn it. Darn that trash king.

"Oi! I told you not to call me that!" Natsumi Nejiko growled irritatably as she turned to see the ace setter catch up to her.

He ignored her statement and matched her pace. "But Na-channnnn."

Natsumi took a deep breath before shaking her head, knowing that he wouldn't listen to her. "Nevermind. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at practice?"

Oikawa laughed lightly and winked playfully. "I'm skipping to meet you."

Natsumi grimaced before sighing in exasperation, "Oikawa, please just go to practice already."

"Awww, does Na-chan not want to come with me?" He said, a put on his face and she rolled her eyes.

"What do I do everyday instead of spending my time on something productive?"

"You don't have anything to do anyways~."

"...Touché."

A few minutes of bickering with the obnoxious trash, they arrived. Splitting up, Natsumi sneaked past the hoard of fangirls and into the gym, finding a good place to watch from the sidelines.

9 minutes, 43 seconds, 17 milliseconds, and 27 nanoseconds have passed, and Oikawa finally came in. Almost instantly, Iwa threw a volleyball at him.

"Trashkawa! You're late, again!"

"Ouch! I'm sorry Iwa-kun, I got distracted!"

"What was it this time?!"

"It was a cat! A cat with pink headphones!"

Well, it wasn't as bad as last time's "Whale with leather boots!"

"Like heck! Get changed!"

"Okay~."

XxX

The screaming of fangirls reverberate throughout the humongous gymnasium, accompanied by constant sound of thuds of volleyballs bouncing against arms and shoes squeaking against the shiny waxed floor.

Oikawa served fabulously again, setting off a fresh round of screams and ticking off his teammates for the umpth time that day.

Natsumi winced at the volume of the fangirls and scowled whenever they got active, waving arms in her face. _'The things I do for that annoying trash.'_

As if hearing her thoughts, the ace setter turned his head and looked directly at her, a mocking smile on his face. Natsumi glared and turned up the volume of her music as the girls crowded around her screamed again, thinking he was directing his actions to them.

At the end of practice, she slipped away from the large gathering, mummering a small "sorry" whenever she shoved someone out of her way, not really meaning it.

Natsumi was dodging her way around a few(by few meaning a lot) of Oikawa's fans until she heard the most ratchet voice ever from behind her, calling out the most vengeful nickname in the history of organisms.

"Na-chaaaan!" Squealed a super fake girl voice.

Oikawa, that bastard…!

Natsumi quickly snapped her head around, seeing an unexpected Oikawa hiding behind a bush wearing shades and a fake mustache.

She sweatdropped.

Quickly making her way to his hiding spot, she ducked down to crouch besides him.

"What the hell are you thinking?!" She whisper-shouted, ripping the cheesy mustache and sunglasses off his face. He whined softly and rubbed his face from the unexpected pain.

"Geez, that hurt, you sadist."

"I'm not a S!" Natsumi paused and an evil glint entered her eyes. "Then...that means that you're claiming to be a masochist."

"So you want to top, Nejiko-chan?"

She mentally face-walled.

Every single time.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Natsumi asked in a hushed voice, not waiting for an answer before crawling out from the bush, ditching the king of trash and perverted thoughts.

Oikawa crept out after her.

"Are you mad at me?" he questioned, giving her puppy eyes.

She continued striding across the sun filthered(1) concrete, not sparing him a glance, knowing that he knew she wasn't really angry.

"Na-chaannn~?" he said in a sing-song voice, almost skipping by her side.

**She twitched at the nickname.**

"Can I just suffocate you with my bare hands, shove you into a can and drop a whale on you?"

XXX

The sun quickly evacuated the sky as the night began to fall, Oikawa somehow still following Natsumi. His magical tactics are unknown to mankind.

"I'll treat you to white chocolate raspberry swirl turtle cheesecake~." He grins, knowing that she wouldn't reject his offer.

…

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"Yes. A couple times, in fact."

"Well, I love you."

"I know."

* * *

_(1) sun filthered- YumeHoshi32 suddenly decided only park paths are sun filtered and any other type of intended form of a continuous walking area contrasting to the surrounding ground that leads to a destination is sun filthered._

_Also, we decided on a name for this ship, after fangirling too many times._

_#OIKO5EVA_

_It's Oiko._

_Too kawaii._

_-PastaDaze127 and YumeHoshi32_


End file.
